13/11/13
It's Wednesday and it's finally good weather, it's been raining for the past 2 days and I can't stand the rain, it's cold and miserable. On top of that, it's exam finals period for me and I'm tired from waking up early in the wee hours of the morning and getting stuck into books and notes till the dead of night. I'm barely getting sleep, around 5hrs to 7hrs top. Oh the joys of University. I have one exam left and that is next Tuesday, so hopefully, if I am able to study throughout these next few days, efficiently, without procrastination, I won't have to cram and sleep late on the Monday night, worrying about the exam.
What else is boggling my mind, is him, Hermit, haha, every time I bring that silly name up, it makes me chuckle.
He drives me absolutely insane, he's charming, extremely talented, in my opinion and something about him makes me really want him, really wanting him to be mine - not in a crazy 'I have to have him and nobody can' type of way, but a 'I want you to know that I like you' haha - I don't think I'm making sense. I want to receive those 'goodmorning' or 'goodnight' texts because when those happen, it makes my day a whole lot better, also everytime I receive a snapchat from him, it makes me smile like crazy and wishing those photos would last longer than 10 seconds.
Hardest part is, he lives 1000000kms away, I don't know what he is really thinking or acting when he texts me, I don't know if this is him being nice or just a friend, or merely interested. I'm trying not to get my hopes and expectations up and thinking/feeling the way I feel, but I do hope that is the case and if not.. I'm fine with that but it would suck if he actually has a girl he's interested over where he is and I'm just this annoying girl from 100000kms away texting haha.
Eugh! Why does falling in love or liking someone have to be so difficult, especially distant people you're interested in. I know people say distant relationships are the hardest and don't work but what is there to lose to just try and make it work?
Sometimes I feel stupid for even thinking we are an item, or becoming one because what if that is not what he's thinking or feeling?? Hmm, I don't want to ask and be forward because that might scare him..
I don't know, I hope everyone else has a great day and enjoy the rest of the week! It's nearly Christmas!! Hooray!
Yours Truly,
Bella
