10/9/13
I don't know what to write for today, just feels like every other day so far, right now, I feel, emotionless, there is always a time in the day where inside I feel nothing. I'm just sitting here, trying to think and usually when I think, I get emotional but right now I'm not.
In my previous blog entries, I wrote about this boy, the one in my lecture on Tuesday and Friday mornings, I didn't see him on Friday and I didn't see him today but that didn't bother me, since I don't know him but it did make me wonder if he switched lectures.
I've realised, I don't know what I want in life or who I want to be with and I feel like we're always constantly looking for love, looking for that significant other but what for? To feel happiness? To know your place in this world?
I haven't had much thought or attempt in searching for a guy, I'm just waiting for it to come to me, I mean, I do still like to put on a flirtatious and hard-to-get 'act' or persona when i'm in public because I don't know, maybe just to tease people and give them something to run for their money? If that even happens but I just psychologically think that's what I'm doing, that I'm teasing them. I don't even know if what I just wrote made any sense.
One day, everyone will find love and it doesn't have to be the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' love, it's any type of love, the ones that make you feel happy, warm, the ones that make you smile and laugh. Love that sets you free from worries when you're with them and that makes you feel alive.
Anyways, I really should go to sleep, I am really tired, I woke up at 5:30am this morning and I'm just done with being awake right now and my eyes are telling me to go to bed!
I hope you all find love and happiness that you deserve and treasure it.
Yours Truly,
Bella
